Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Feed Back Attack!
I'm preparing to write an inexpensive e-book tentatively titled "Legends of the Boo Monster." Originally, it was going to just be the true story of my son, his autism, and the unique challenges and wonderment of being the Boo Monster's daddy, but then I got to thinking, and once the smoke cleared, I had an idea. What if I wrote the odd chapters about the one true real life Boo Monster and the even chapters a fairy tale about a fictional Boo Monster and his adventures? I'd really dig some feedback. What say you all?
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Stay Frosty: A Non-Guru's Rules of Surviving Social Media
I see a lot of folks on Twitter claiming that they are social media gurus. I don’t know what that means. I don’t know how to maximize social media for the benefit of your financial well-being, social status, or promote your personal brand. I don’t know what to do if you’re branded and you know you’re a man.
Look, God knows I’m guilty as hell of pimping this very blog, but I try to promote a lot of people’s stuff out of respect for their work, and maybe a little to make myself feel better for being such a self-important ninny.
I’ve been doing this internet thing since about 1997 and I’ve learned a few things. I’ll pass these lessons on to you and you can consider them as reasonable assessments or mock them for their obviousness. These are my general rules. Your mileage may vary.
1. Message boards are mine fields. I was a member of a message board for a long while and cultivated a great many pleasant friendships there; people that conducted themselves with tact, diplomacy and honor. Then there were the trolls, those people that feed off of controversy by being rude, obscene, intentionally offensive and contrary for the sake of being contrary. Trolls usually cannot be rehabilitated and assimilated into a healthy message board society. They thrill on irritating the shit out of people, focusing their most concentrated attacks on the hyper sensitive and easily offended. Then you get flame wars that produce no meaningful dialogue, no chance at compromise, just less mature versions of “I know you are, but what am I.” Sometimes, I suppose, one might see these little anonymous battles as amusing as each side makes more ridiculous and nonsensical assertions to prove their points. Eventually I was made a moderator of this board and for all my socially progressive ideals I moderated like a prudish schoolmarm. Epic fail. Eventually the trolls got to me and I unceremoniously walked away and never visited that message board again.
2. NEVER read the comments left by readers of news articles or videos. It will make you think that only a small portion of the world does not experience severe cognitive dissonance in their reasoning ability. This is also the place where drinkers of various ideological Kool-Aids spend a great deal of time being high on vitriol but low on the desire to research their arguments and augment them with actual facts and stuff.
3. Ignore any message, tweet, or post that insists the author knows what God wants, ya know, like they talked it over at Denny’s. Religion can be a wonderful thing. Quoting from various religious texts is no less valid than quoting Freud or Shakespeare, if it makes a point that illustrates your personal philosophy, but when that philosophy turns into a certainty that an unseen force with absolute authority tells you to persecute others for what they do as consenting adults I will ignore you. Also these folks tend to type in all caps, which is only allowed by another man of unshaking faith, Owen Meany.
4. The Golden Rule might get Ron Paul booed at a convention but it is definitely something I take to heart when posting on social media.
5. Don’t respond to brick walls. Brick walls cannot be reasoned with. They will always remain brick walls.
6. Double-check “facts” before you tweet or post them. I let one get by me last Sunday and if I FiretrUCK up and tweet a bad piece of information, I apologize. Example: A musical artist, who has sold millions of albums, retweeted misinformation that I tweeted to her. It was my bad because I didn’t double-check. Not only did I apologize to her but I apologized to everyone who responded to the retweet, one calling me a douche, one wondering what I was smoking, etc. The artist immediately forgave me because she’s a doll, and surprisingly every single person I apologized to not only accepted my apology but apologized for calling me names, which I kind of deserved. The whole apology process took TWO HOURS. I learned my lesson.
7. I used to have a non-political internet presence rule but recent events threatening universal women’s health care and the civil rights of the LGBT community have made me break that rule in a big way. I will however stick by my no name calling policy, but I will point out blatant hypocrisy, as politely as possible.
8. If I don’t have anything nice to say, particularly on trivial matters, I do my very best not to say it.
9. I try to never pester anyone into following me and I don’t take people not responding personally.
10.This is my most important rule.
I owe a lot of positive energy and love after the outpouring of concern and affection from my friends on social media during my recent troubles. I’m gonna pay it back hundred-fold if I can.
Until next time Love Each Other!
Look, God knows I’m guilty as hell of pimping this very blog, but I try to promote a lot of people’s stuff out of respect for their work, and maybe a little to make myself feel better for being such a self-important ninny.
I’ve been doing this internet thing since about 1997 and I’ve learned a few things. I’ll pass these lessons on to you and you can consider them as reasonable assessments or mock them for their obviousness. These are my general rules. Your mileage may vary.
1. Message boards are mine fields. I was a member of a message board for a long while and cultivated a great many pleasant friendships there; people that conducted themselves with tact, diplomacy and honor. Then there were the trolls, those people that feed off of controversy by being rude, obscene, intentionally offensive and contrary for the sake of being contrary. Trolls usually cannot be rehabilitated and assimilated into a healthy message board society. They thrill on irritating the shit out of people, focusing their most concentrated attacks on the hyper sensitive and easily offended. Then you get flame wars that produce no meaningful dialogue, no chance at compromise, just less mature versions of “I know you are, but what am I.” Sometimes, I suppose, one might see these little anonymous battles as amusing as each side makes more ridiculous and nonsensical assertions to prove their points. Eventually I was made a moderator of this board and for all my socially progressive ideals I moderated like a prudish schoolmarm. Epic fail. Eventually the trolls got to me and I unceremoniously walked away and never visited that message board again.
2. NEVER read the comments left by readers of news articles or videos. It will make you think that only a small portion of the world does not experience severe cognitive dissonance in their reasoning ability. This is also the place where drinkers of various ideological Kool-Aids spend a great deal of time being high on vitriol but low on the desire to research their arguments and augment them with actual facts and stuff.
3. Ignore any message, tweet, or post that insists the author knows what God wants, ya know, like they talked it over at Denny’s. Religion can be a wonderful thing. Quoting from various religious texts is no less valid than quoting Freud or Shakespeare, if it makes a point that illustrates your personal philosophy, but when that philosophy turns into a certainty that an unseen force with absolute authority tells you to persecute others for what they do as consenting adults I will ignore you. Also these folks tend to type in all caps, which is only allowed by another man of unshaking faith, Owen Meany.
4. The Golden Rule might get Ron Paul booed at a convention but it is definitely something I take to heart when posting on social media.
5. Don’t respond to brick walls. Brick walls cannot be reasoned with. They will always remain brick walls.
6. Double-check “facts” before you tweet or post them. I let one get by me last Sunday and if I FiretrUCK up and tweet a bad piece of information, I apologize. Example: A musical artist, who has sold millions of albums, retweeted misinformation that I tweeted to her. It was my bad because I didn’t double-check. Not only did I apologize to her but I apologized to everyone who responded to the retweet, one calling me a douche, one wondering what I was smoking, etc. The artist immediately forgave me because she’s a doll, and surprisingly every single person I apologized to not only accepted my apology but apologized for calling me names, which I kind of deserved. The whole apology process took TWO HOURS. I learned my lesson.
7. I used to have a non-political internet presence rule but recent events threatening universal women’s health care and the civil rights of the LGBT community have made me break that rule in a big way. I will however stick by my no name calling policy, but I will point out blatant hypocrisy, as politely as possible.
8. If I don’t have anything nice to say, particularly on trivial matters, I do my very best not to say it.
9. I try to never pester anyone into following me and I don’t take people not responding personally.
10.This is my most important rule.
I owe a lot of positive energy and love after the outpouring of concern and affection from my friends on social media during my recent troubles. I’m gonna pay it back hundred-fold if I can.
Until next time Love Each Other!
Friday, February 3, 2012
Thursday, January 19, 2012
I Won’t See Me at My Funeral/Love Lies Floating
Recently, I was a call in patient on Emily Volman’s funny and entirely useful “Laughing with You” podcast/podcouch/ blogfest extravaganza. The subject was my inability to tone down my endless worrying; little did I know that the therapy would lead me to a concept that would threaten to tear my very concept of reality asunder.
People on the internet might NOT be my real friends? Madness!
If you wish to hear the aforementioned session, you can find it here, or on the iTunes. Don’t worry I’ll be here soaking in my narcissism when you get back. Maybe I’ll sing myself a little song while you read. (Shawn Colton does not own the rights to the likenesses of KISS, the song by Richard O'Brien, or the blatant rip-offery of Tim Curry's golden tones. ::Steps off of SOPA box::)
Welcome back! So you listened, what did you what did you think of...?
I'm sorry, what?
Yes,Caissie St.Onge is truly awesome.
So, as I was saying ...
Did I meet Ms. St Onge in the green room of the show? No, actually I was late and she had to fly back to...
WAITASEC!
Listen, this BLOG IS ABOUT ME!
What kind of friend are you?
Oh no! What if Emily was right? What if people on the interwebz aren't REALLY my friends.
I talked to the man I named my son after (and likely the only person that will COMPLETELY understand this entries title), Mr. D. W. Hanson,a.k.a. Ragz Dandelion and he seemed to agree with Emily's sentiment. To be a true friend, you need to see people at both their best and their worst.
So I thought, about it, and I have come to a conclusion. Looking around my house at all the things my internet family have sent me over the years, and then realizing that the ability to purchase this house was the result of an internet relationship I ...
Well, we'll leave that story for the next entry.
The question is ... what do you think?
Comment and discuss. Please.
(Special Thanks to the beautiful and talented DJ PlaZma for recording that karaoke performance, so very long ago. )
People on the internet might NOT be my real friends? Madness!
If you wish to hear the aforementioned session, you can find it here, or on the iTunes. Don’t worry I’ll be here soaking in my narcissism when you get back. Maybe I’ll sing myself a little song while you read. (Shawn Colton does not own the rights to the likenesses of KISS, the song by Richard O'Brien, or the blatant rip-offery of Tim Curry's golden tones. ::Steps off of SOPA box::)
Welcome back! So you listened, what did you what did you think of...?
I'm sorry, what?
Yes,Caissie St.Onge is truly awesome.
So, as I was saying ...
Did I meet Ms. St Onge in the green room of the show? No, actually I was late and she had to fly back to...
WAITASEC!
Listen, this BLOG IS ABOUT ME!
What kind of friend are you?
Oh no! What if Emily was right? What if people on the interwebz aren't REALLY my friends.
I talked to the man I named my son after (and likely the only person that will COMPLETELY understand this entries title), Mr. D. W. Hanson,a.k.a. Ragz Dandelion and he seemed to agree with Emily's sentiment. To be a true friend, you need to see people at both their best and their worst.
So I thought, about it, and I have come to a conclusion. Looking around my house at all the things my internet family have sent me over the years, and then realizing that the ability to purchase this house was the result of an internet relationship I ...
Well, we'll leave that story for the next entry.
The question is ... what do you think?
Comment and discuss. Please.
(Special Thanks to the beautiful and talented DJ PlaZma for recording that karaoke performance, so very long ago. )
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
The Doctor Who Lyric Morph Challenge!
I might need help with something from all of you that are Doctor Who fans. I recently blipped Jane Monheit's version of "Waters of March" and remembered the Doctor Who special "Waters of Mars" So with a little help from Jane (she came up with all of the Tom Baker era references) I could only cobble together one verse and a chorus. Anyone want to take a crack at the other verses?
First, here's Jane singing "Waters of March" for those who aren't familiar with the tune, followed by the lyrics I slapped together this morning.
Daleks, Davros, it’s the end of the road.
He’s the last Lord of time, he’s a little alone
It’s a Tardis so blue, it’s a box with a phone
It’s a sliver of time, it is space, so we run
It’s a Robot of Death, it’s a trap, it’s no fun
Sontaran Doom, Rutans in the brush
Autons made of wood, which he has to crush
The Ood a song, a ship, a fall
The crash, a win, it was nothing at all
It’s the Cybermen march, talons of weng-chiang
It is old, it is new, and the Cloister Bell rang
And the Doctor he cracked at the Waters of Mars
It’s the end of all time, with a song in his heart
Feel free to e-mail me your verses at fatherwizard@gmail.com
First, here's Jane singing "Waters of March" for those who aren't familiar with the tune, followed by the lyrics I slapped together this morning.
Daleks, Davros, it’s the end of the road.
He’s the last Lord of time, he’s a little alone
It’s a Tardis so blue, it’s a box with a phone
It’s a sliver of time, it is space, so we run
It’s a Robot of Death, it’s a trap, it’s no fun
Sontaran Doom, Rutans in the brush
Autons made of wood, which he has to crush
The Ood a song, a ship, a fall
The crash, a win, it was nothing at all
It’s the Cybermen march, talons of weng-chiang
It is old, it is new, and the Cloister Bell rang
And the Doctor he cracked at the Waters of Mars
It’s the end of all time, with a song in his heart
Feel free to e-mail me your verses at fatherwizard@gmail.com
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