Oh My Stars and Garters !

I haven't posted in a little while as I've been under the weather. Not literally. I'm not "out of doors" as George Thorogood would say. Apparently, and this is a wild guess, you're more likely to catch a cold when your immunity system is compromised by, oh, say, a robot wielding urologist yanking your prostate through your belly.

The Boo Monster is going through one of his Superboy phases where he is ball of joyous unfocused energy. It's exhausting to say the least and I'm more than a little scatter-brained so it makes for quite the adventure. His manic behavior is accompanied by gales of laughter as if to counter-balance my exasperation.

Do I shout sometimes? You damn betcha! But a bellowing Daddy is a funny daddy. Or he just no sells it completely, as if he doesn't even hear me. I think he's trying to speed up my recovery through rapid rehab. Ya know, so I can be his big goofy butler.

I did something fun last Thursday, but I don't want to reveal what it is until it's posted, which will be soon. I just hope I didn't drive the whole affair off a cliff with my Irish-Catholic Richard Lewis-like mania.

Now ladies and gentlemen, Ms. Brigitte Zarie with some "Money, Money, Money". So talented, the brains behind chocolate wallpaper, and a really nice young lady to boot!

The Angels of My Recovery Part One, and My Han Solo Like Performance in the Kegel Run!

The Epiphany: Angel Man Introduces Liza Jane to her Alternate Life as Jessica Claus



My support system has been mighty,unified and tireless during my ordeal, and the Angels of My Recovery span the globe, and I aspire to be worthy of all of the positive energy I've received, not just during my war with cancer (which we won)but through so much more.

First I'll discuss ,and sing the praises of, a very important Triumvirate of Spiritual Energy that has added me as the big shambling sidekick, a sort of Ben Grimm in the Fantastic Four. I'm not quite as creative, talented and spritually aware as they are but they love me anyway, and we vibrate on the same universal frequency.

After that we'll talk about my brush with incontinence, ya know, to even things out.

Sandra Bernhard introduced me to Michael Gardner who introduced me to Liz Carr and the three have been integral parts of my sanity and recovery. (Micheal and Liz are pictured above, Sandy sings you a song in the video below.)

Sandra and I were born on Michigan soil, Geminis, and while she was becoming a superstar, I was just feeling my way through a confusing life where I didn't quite know what to make of myself. We met several years ago on the Twitter and she has cheered me on through my trials and tribulations ever since, with unwavering love and loyalty. She's my friend and hero. Why did an internationally recognized creative genius take an interest in me? I'm just lucky I guess. Oh, and for those who feel that perhaps our friendship is a figment of my imagination and that I'm just some fan who likes to name drop, and I say this in the nicest way I can muster, please feel free to go screw yourself. Sandy and I have a spiritual connection even if I'm not taking the apartment. (Insert "Will & Grace"/ Blender joke here.)

It was through Sandy that I met Michael Gardner, who when he found out that I had cancer, rallied his considerable resources to come to my aid. I'm fairly certain he's an angel, which is why I call him Angel Man. Again, Michael was a person that had no real reason to take any interest in me, outside of the fact that I was a member of the human race in need of balance and a stay against the Widening Gyre. His energy is unlike any I've ever encountered. Michael is an artist of great talent and accomplishment. I'm just some guy who lives in Flint. I'm willing to believe that something more than luck is the reason we crossed paths.

Michael introduced me to Liz Carr, my Jedi Master. Liz knows how to even me out and helps me accept and embrace my perfect imperfections. We've both been through a ringer or two and came out in a good place. We have hysterically funny long phone conversations and if I'm one-tenth the inspiration to her that she is to me I'll be very pleased.

I don't just admire and respect these people. I love them.

And now ladies and gentlemen along with the brilliant Mitchell Kaplan, my Sister Gemini!



... and now let's talk about a complication of my RADICAL PROSTATECTOMY.

Mild incontinence. It's not a lot of fun. The upside is I get to do kegel excercises, so I have that going for me, which is nice. My urologist insists this is a temporary condition. But laughing is a treacherous endeavor these days.

So until next time love each other and for those who suffer the same malady as I currently face, wet 'em if you got 'em.

Oh, and good night, Miss Jhoni, wherever you are. I miss ya.

It's The Mayan Countdown

Happy New Year! 2012 : The Year I (Probably) Don't Have Cancer Anymore !

I think I'll start the New Year by plugging some remarkably talented people.
Tianna Hall One my favorites singing a song I thought karaoke hosting killed for me until now.

Tianna Hall - Creep

Also, it has come to my attention that Emily Volman has launched an exceptional podcast while I was all "woe is me" so I marathoned the four available episodes today: The Laughing with You Podcast! It's loads of fun! There's a link to it on the right hand side of this blog as well.

Speaking of Nashville: Mark Evitts is one heck of a "utility musician" and if you go to his website linked above, do yourself a favor and hit play on "Viology" Mesmerizing! I'd post it here directly but I can't figure out how.

I'll be back with alarming frequency in 2012. I hope you don't get too sick of me!

Dear Cancer: Gotcha!

First of all, I'm healing up very quickly from the surgery. A little pain and mild incontinence is all that's still bothersome. I think the rapid healing is in part due to the Captain Jack Harkness R.A.F. coat my wife bought me for Christmas. (Pictured above.. Sorry, I'm not better lookin'.)

I was going to title this blog entry “Catheter the Great” but I my respect for horses prevented it.

My urologist called me this morning and informed me that while the cancer actually spread fairly rapidly between the biopsy and the surgery, meaning that mine was the more aggressive variety, it was still contained within the prostate, so its removal will more than likely mean I can change the name of the blog in a couple weeks.

All of the positive energy I’ve received over the past several months worked its magic. I owe you one. Every single one of you.

I’ll save the stories of humiliation and discomfort for another post. Right now, I’m too damned happy to whine.

Here’s me singing “Midnight Train to Georgia”, that should be enough discomfort for today.



I do wonder though, if my bloodwork comes back in a few weeks and I find out that I am, in fact, cancer free, what should I rename my blog?

Out of the Dark!

Quick update!

The surgery is over and was completed with great competency and care. I was toying with posting a picture of my battle damaged and artfully manscaped mid-section but decided against it.

The catheter comes out Wednesday morning and the pathology should be back before the new year.

I hope to feel well enough to post a full length piece soon.

I'd like to leave you with a couple of snappy numbers.

"T'd Like You For Christmas" by the Brunette Bias fave Holly Cole.



And this ... "If my blog could tell you all the pretty words..."

Meet The Koltar Family!

David Hanson a.k.a. Ragz Dandelion, a.k.a. the fella I named the Boo Monster after, created the character Koltar, based on me more than a quarter of a century ago. So I commissioned him to do a Koltar Family portrait, and here it is in brilliant water colors and pastels. Once we get it here it'll be up on the wall and I'll take another picture!

Check out his artwork at the link above, and if you need art work done, he's worth every penny.

See all you all after surgery, assuming things go right this time.

Please love each other in the meantime!

The Blog Hiatus vs. Gamera

Happy Holidays from Stately Boo Monster Manor (pictured above)!

I have to take a few days before surgery to catch up on work; since I’m going to lose some hours after the Cybermen perform my RADICAL PROSTATECTOMY (allegedly) on the 14th, so my blog is going to be in a holding pattern over La Guardia for a little bit. But I’ll be back after the surgery, as soon as I am able. When I do I’ll tell you a semi-fictional story of how I found out the answer to “How is a raven like a writing desk?” I say “semi-fictional” because I meditated over it and came up with the answer. I’ll even tell you the answer now but I won’t explain it until just before Christmas.

SPOILERS!



Q: How is a raven like a writing desk?

A: Faith is not a wedding dress.