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Tuesday, October 18, 2011

The Farewell Tour of Perry Prostate and The Cancers

30 days

This is the story of my prostate’s farewell tour and the cancer that necessitated it. At times, it might be a little icky, so I’ll give an all caps warning when I might be going in that direction.

I’ll also be talking about sex, sort of, so if that kind of stuff falls in the T.M.I. category this might not be the blog for you.

Of course, the legendary Boo Monster’s adventures will be covered. I’m concerned he won’t be able to understand that Daddy is not his usual human jungle gym self after the operation.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the Boo Monster, he is my 8 year old son David and has low-functioning autism. He’s non-verbal, which is not to say he doesn’t vocalize, and is quite simply the most unstoppable force in the universe. He’s also my whole world.

Basically, this blog will be a diary, and I promise very little doom and gloom.

I’ve been exceptionally lucky for the last ten years. It’s been an almost mystical bout of good fortune, peppered with the necessary humility, so as I could continue to “keep it real”. I met and married the girl of my dreams; the perfect little boy picked us as his parents; I lucked into a dream-job; some of my heroes are now my friends, and some of my friends became my heroes; and we moved into a brilliant house in Flint. I don’t think I’ve earned or deserve such a great life.

When I was diagnosed with prostate cancer at 44 years of age… well, I have to admit I didn’t see that one coming. It’s in its early stages, and since there is no way to tell how aggressive the cancer is, I’ve elected for a radical prostatectomy. If I were twenty-years older I might elect to not treat it at all, taking the gamble that the cancer was slow growing and something else was likely to kill me first, but at 44, even the less aggressive form could kill me by the time I reached 64, when David would be twenty-eight and still in need of full time care.

I’ve also been making strides to improve my health. I’ve treated my body like a garbage disposal for so long that at 44 I’ve not only managed to get cancer, but dangerously high blood pressure and some pretty scary cholesterol levels. Eventually, I intend on becoming a full-fledged vegan, who occasionally cheats on the full moon. So far I’ve knocked off all red meat and dairy products. If you know me, that constitutes a RADICAL change in diet. I also try not to stuff myself and only drink soft drinks once or twice a week.

I have attempted some rudimentary yoga positions, and attempted to center myself through meditation. The latter two being no easy task when confronted with the reality that is the Boo Monster, who requires constant attention and who makes certain that NOTHING non- David related will be accomplished while he’s home from school and awake. I empathize with the Japanese military in the classic Toho monster movies, realizing that the best way to deal with Godzilla is to wait until he wades off in the ocean to take a nap before even attempting to clean up after him. Unlike Godzilla, David’s path of destruction is usually a jolly one with no malicious intent at all. His energy is amazing. Before last night he stayed up for 36hours straight.

Hopefully, this semi-daily blog will help other people in my position and hopefully help other men who are relatively young that find they have developed prostate cancer.

My support system has been nothing less than astonishing. I’m putting this entry up before I can ask permission to name the unexpected angels and warriors who have helped me so much in the last few months. The stories of their selflessness will be the subject future entries.

I love you guys.


  1. I'll be with you in spirit along this journey. You've been a precious Twitter friend for a really long time, and I want the best for you. :-)

  2. I'm glad you decided to blog this, and I'm sure everyone who is rooting for you on this journey will be happy to read along!

  3. Sher, by being my friend, you already have given the best for me. :-)

  4. I too am sooo glad you decided to blog about this, honey--not only for the fact that writing is a great coping mechanism, but for those of us who love you, it will help immensely to know exactly what's going on with you.

    One thing, though--this is your blog and consequently

    a) there is no such thing as TMI, and

    b) doom and gloom are completely acceptable, given that you're dealing with your mortality here, darlin.

    In other words, we want it straight, not sugar-coated...okay? ;)

    PS: Only you could compare your child to Godzilla and make it endearing as all get-out. :) ♥

  5. L, you need not worry about sugar coating.

    Also, my dear friend, I adore the hell out of you.

    P.S. The uncanny similarity between Godzilla and Minilla (Baby Godzilla) and David and I :

  6. It is great to read a meaningful blog finally. As I've already said on Twitter you are in my thoughts and I am sure you will get through this smoothly and you'll be able to carry on your life very quickly afterwards.

    I can't wait to read your future posts and there is never too much info ;O)

    Lots of love and Barrowman luck and sparkle to you!

    Liss aka @lisswin

  7. Your fight is my fight Wonder Twin. Wonder Twin powers activate!!! My heart is with you, your beautiful wife and Boo. <3

  8. You, dear sir, are a prince among men. I have no doubt that your amazing spirit and enthusiasm for life, along with your incredible ability to channel the personality of a spunky Civil War-era southern belle, will help you come through this challenge not just as a mere survivor, but as a WINNER. Because the truth is - you already are one of those. A winner, I mean, not a southern belle.......

  9. My love and positive thoughts to you and your lovely family dear CBIL! I'm so glad that you'll be keeping us all updated with your progress! *HUGS* <3

  10. Sending nothing but good thoughts and energy to your and your family. I count myself fortunate to have met you through Twitter and am impressed that you are so open with your experiences.

  11. I love you, my cousin. You and your gorgeous wife and amazing son. ((Hugs)). I am honored to be (twitter-)related to a man who is about to kick cancer's ASS.

  12. My Wizard of the Kingdom of Nuttballs... I so wish I could take away the troubles of your world at this moment but also know you have the best of life as well, in your family and friends. Always here for you :)
    Your Majesty Tweedheart