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Thursday, November 10, 2011

Seven Days !

The following is an attempt at making myself feel better about my upcoming RADICAL PROSTATECTOMY. Hopefully, there will be something of value here for you as well, dear reader.

In 7 Days, a preternatural entity crawls out of a well and steals my prostate, and all because I watched what I thought was a rare VHS copy of Godzilla Raids Again. Foiled by my great love for Japanese pop culture.

Speaking of which, let's all enjoy the theme from one of my all time favorite anime series' "Scrapped Princess", Little Wing as performed by JAM Project and Masami Okui.

I also strongly suggest checking out the Utawarerumono and Solty Rei collections, both of which actually made me weepy.

I think it’s somewhat appropriate the Regis and my prostate are riding off into the sunset together. Maybe, they’ll become sheep herders and live happily ever after. I actually named one of my cars Regis. It’s funny how the Universe works.

I bought a couple of feature length Rifftrax to watch on my iPad during recovery from my surgery, when I will be equipped unseemly tubes and bags and stitches and ... but I digress...

I'd like to take this moment to thank the folks at Rifftrax, Cinematic Titanic, and Mystery Science Theater 3000, for filling my life with mirth, and an inability to stop riffing on everything I see or hear. My wife really wishes I would stop riffing "Homeland" and "The Good Wife", but she loves you too.

Over on the Rifftrax side, I'd like to send a special shout out to Erik and Sarah (Barnes and Todd forever!), who have to put up with my endlessly stupid questions via e-mail. Erik, did no-sell my boxers or briefs question, but you know, I'm sure he was swamped for autographed 8X10 glossies, as he is a damn good looking man.

At the end of this post enjoy the Bill Corbett composition Love Theme From Jaws featuring the vocal talents of Kevin Murphy, the less Welsh Tom Jones; and the beautiful and talented food blogger, singer, dancer and mommy Virginia Corbett.

This lovely song is available at the Rifftrax site and on iTunes along with many other snappy numbers both musically and comedically satisying, much like you'd imagine sex with a clown playing Stravinsky on the cello, but less messy.

I have to thank you all for you tremendous support during this time.

Now I get semi-serious and it might get a little icky.

A dear friend of mine assured me I'd be"as good as new" after the surgery. She was right! I'll be incontinent and unable to procreate just like the day I was born!

It's all about the coming and going.

When removing the prostate they have to reattach my bladder to my urethra, so it might be awhile before I can control my going, but I'm assured I'll be back to "I'm a big kid now!" from in a bout a month.

As for, uh.. coming ... well, let's just say my days as a genetic jackhammer are over. In fact, it will, as I understand, require a series of pulleys, winches, vaccuum tubes, blue pills, blue borings, fob watches, jelly babies and helium for me to "perform" for quite a while.

This saddens me.

I'm also concerned about how my son will handle having an unclimbable, Daddy for a few weeks. He also won't be able to tell me what he wants because, as he is non-verbal, he needs to pull/drag me to what he wants.

This saddens me, too.

But you know what?

It's just another regeneration episode, right? I'll be out of it for a period of time, adjusting to a new body, and then soon I'll be back to squashing Daleks, confounding Cybermen, and travelling through time and space with my scrying ball, my magic wand, my sonic screwdriver,my beautiful wife,the Boo Monster and YOU!

I love you guys !


  1. I realize this isn't anime, or Godzilla...but I wildly recommend Akira Kurosawa. His 3 hour film Ran will make you forget anything. And then please watch Akira Kurosawa's Dreams, a movie compiled of several short films. The Peach Tree Orchard is my favorite in it.

  2. Michael, I will watch all of the above during my recovery. Just got off the phone with Liz. LOVE YOU GUYS!